Well, around 10:30 tonight, I managed to get into a depressed/angry sort of mood, not that anyone cares. Hey Tim, I think you have it backwards. I think everyone else is using us for personal gain and then they take off. We're willing to bend over backwards and do anything we can to help others. The moment that we ask others for help, they simply are unwilling to help.

On a second note, I think I will stop using these pages. There is no one except my wife that seems to care about what I have to say. Also, anything that I do write or say to others only seems to be twisted into some fashion that is to make us look like scum of the earth. Am I? I almost think that people hate us because we always seem to be right. I can count about 6 predictions that I told my wife about that I made back around 2002 that all have come true. I wonder how many more of my predictions will come true. Anyhow, seeing that the few that I thought did care for are proving me wrong, I think I will just do what I stated earlier. No one has showed any interest in my feelings, my thoughts, my concerns. I might as well just vanish from this earth. I might just do that. Goodbye to all.

Today was a good day. I had a easy day at work. I sent the majority of the morning delivering 5 fin tables to a company in LaCrosse using a very oversized trailer. It was fun and yet I was nervous about it because the trailer is almost exactly the width of the right lane heading south thru Onalaska. I had to drive it on the dotted line or else I would be driving it up on the curb. :-) This was the second time for me to do it. I'll probably be doing it again in about 1-2 weeks. Then I was gone in the afternoon for about an hour and a half for other reasons. Good things are in progress for my wife & I. We are both very excited.

Old business. I corrected the entry. I had missed a 'not.' Ok, don't call me a liar if you don't have anything that I have lied about. What's up with the sudden attack of old news? I had told Austen my old feelings about 3 years ago. I think she had forgotten about it. I had mentioned how I have felt in the past, to her again, when she had asked. I love how you seem to blow it all out of proportion, Tim. Some of those feelings that you talk about were before I had meet my wife. Nice try. Have to go. I need to make it to the bank before it closes and then we're going out for dinner with my in-laws.

So, Timmy & Andrea, how are you both? I'm doing pretty good. Where to start.... It seems funny to read thru your entry Timmy. So what all have I said that I am to be forgiven for? I did say some mean things on or around 3-21-04 but I'm not asking to be forgiven. Even if I did I'm sure that I would not receive it. I have had many mean things said about me and yet I can move on. We have tried to help and we tend to get the door slammed in our face. Beth & I are not ones to quit on something we believe in, and we believe in Andrea. So, how have I been abusive to my friends and take advantage of them? How have I taken advantage of you, Timmy, or of Andrea? I have not! "We hang out with James because we know he'll play video games." How am I taking advantage of James if he is equally getting the same advantage of having someone to play video games with? Mutual gain! Maybe it it's like you, Timmy, still hanging out with Pauly D. or am I mistaken? (Andrea dislikes us hanging out with James, and she dislikes Timmy hanging out with Pauly D. But is it ok for Timmy to see Pauly and not ok for us to see James? It's not like James would be around if we where to see you, Andrea. We would make sure of it.) Friends tend to both have personal gains from a friendship. A lot like in Sims. Both benefit or they both don't. We have never abused our friends; they have simply bettered themselves and have moved to have better jobs then you will ever have, Timmy. They still come back to visit me. I just can't visit them as much any more! We tried to help Andrea out with the drugs. You refused to help her then! And yet, if Beth & I were willing to help in any way possible, how would we be taking advantage of her? She had nothing to give and we could give her everything we had. How have we lied to her or you, Timmy? If you can point out all my lies, if any, I would love to hear them. I don't lie. I firmly believe in telling the truth to people. I can only hurt myself if I were to lie to people, so I choose to not lie to people. And I can only hope to receive the same respect of the truth from others.

What I want ... is for Andrea to be happy. If you feel that for that to be is to never say "hi" to me, so be it. I will still always say "hi". I can see that you, Timmy, do not want to be in close proximity to me. Are you afraid of me? Because that is what it sounds like. That you have something to be afraid of. I know you will deny any possibility of being afraid of me, but I feel it. And I'm sure you don't want Andrea to talk with us or to see us in public. You can both avoid me if you feel the need to, for I will not. Just because you work for Walmart has not stopped me from going. I don't feel a need to avoid people. Why should I? Have I truly done wrong to you or Andrea? You both say so, but truthfully I have not. Just think for one moment, what truly have I done wrong to you, Andrea? Is caring about you wrong? Is wanting you to stop hurting yourself wrong? Is wanting you to better yourself wrong? And am I wrong in thinking that doing drugs is wrong? Where have I truly gone wrong? If I have done wrong, why are you the ones running to avoid me and hide from me? Shouldn't I be the one running??? But if you truly feel that you can only be happy if I stop caring about you, you can just start thinking that I do not care. In my heart I always will........

I am not asking for much,
just to see you happy.
In the past I have been lied to,
but I know that I haven't been lied to as of recent.
Hasn't everyone shed their tears
thru all these years?
Why is a head hung low and shy?
When I hear that it should be high!
Why cower at my feet?
Do you fear me when we meet?
What is it that you want at last?
For I can't take back the past.
If you want for us to fall off of this earth, so be it.
We'll still be here willing to help you.
I am not asking for much,
just to see you happy.
- GBD