I would like to change my entry below slightly. I think A is now happy that she can be with T. I was feeling concerned that she might do what she has done in the past when she is feeling low. When we had left her at home tonight, she was crying and very upset with everything. So I had just drove over to her house to make an attempt to make sure that she was doing ok and not doing bad things to herself. Well, I find out that T is over there now. The were both laying together on the couch holding each other. I thought she looked happy. I'm not absolutely sure, but that's what I thought I saw. The fact that I have posted all this, I'm sure it's safe to say that I am to be blame for everything, that I am also wrong about everything, that I have caused all the wrongs, and that I am not a good, caring, and loving friend but only one that hurts people and lets them down. I hope I have caused problems... J DOES NOT DESERVE TO BE TREATED THE WAY HE WAS!!! I think it is probably official that we are no longer her friends. We have probably been befriended from that family, again. I should just accept it.

After the last time we tried to help with the last problem, we got thrown to the curb. Since then, a wall was placed between that family and us. It was only about 5 feet tall and we where able to talk over it, but I think it just jumped to now being 10 feet tall. I want to rant about the past but it will caused me nothing but more pain. It will never heal. Only time of separating myself from them and making them the past will be the only way that I know that will at least ease the pain. It hurts to be a family friend for many, many years and within only hours be tossed out like an old rag. I'm now asking myself why I tried to continue to put forth all my effort to remain friends, when it just blows away in the wind. Seeing that my connection to the family is basically dead now, I debate as to all the f***ing s**t I could write about A. About her times with L, P, & J. There is also at least one thing I know about T that I wonder if A knows. But even if A knew it, I don't think it would change anything, so I won't bother. I intend to make full effort to avoid the shell group. I have tried to rid myself of their bad habits and will continue to do so. I will have to go out and find some true friends that will care about me and not be willing to treat me as badly as some have. As I say goodbye to that family, I hope them the best of luck in the future. All the times together during my HS years will be missed. *sacasticly*: It you find a pic of me in that robot costume for OM, send it to me. (They never could seem to find it for me.)