It's vacation time again.

Christmas vacation is just about over. Hope everyone had a good Christmas & that Santa was good to them. I was spoiled rotten again this year for Christmas. For the most part everything has been pretty good. Not much to complain about, hence, the lack of entries. That's basically what this page was set up for but I haven't had much to complain about. I got to see Chad on Friday night & yesterday. On Friday night, he decided to jog all the way here. I can bike it but I don't think I could ever jog it. Then we just sat around and talked and at the end of the night, played some video games. I did pretty good at racing but kept losing at smash. Yesterday, Chris came over with his computer. I made some cotton candy for us & watched him play his new game 'Simpsons - Hit & Run'. Then Beth & I went to see the paycheck with Chad & Andrea. Then we picked up Chris and watched 'Firefly'. I thought it was a very neat show. Can't wait to see the next episodes. Then we all just sat around talking and joking the rest of the evening away. I had a lot of fun doing it & hope to do it again.

I hope everyone has a Very Merry Christmas!

Classes are finally over with for the semester. Yeah! I skipped out of work 2 hours early yesterday so that I could finish up my final projects for the class. I'm up early right now to go and make up those 2 hours of missed work. Won't they be surprised that I'm out there before 8am. Well, It's looking like I'm getting 2 A's and a B. Not too bad. Now to try to just sit back and relax and to complete my last minute Christmas stuff. I definitely will be sleeping in tomorrow! Haven't written much in my blog because I've been busy with school projects. Well, I have to get to work. Later.

There is some small change but everything is because of the lack of change. And because of that lack of change, things can never be.

All is quiet on the blog front. No one is writing much, but everyone keeps looking. Just seems odd that everyone is concerned about the others but don't say anything about it. There are lots of things I could write but I'm choosing to be very selective & stay within my little protective shell. My life is always 2 sided. The one I let people see, and the one inside; like I have explained before. I think everyone just wants peace. Maybe goodwill on earth, too. We don't want people upset with us. I don't want people to think that me or my wife writing in our blogs on how we are feeling means that we are trying to slander or throw mud at people. Yes, we have our own problems. Everyone has problems. Everyone has flaws, too. And I messed up on that one. I need to remind myself that I should not trust a person fully unless you know that person's flaws. All the things I want to say, but the fact that they would probably not be taken the same way as they where meant. We aren't out to try and get people angry. We're just wishing we had the answers to our unanswered questions. All the gray & fuzzy areas that never get filled. I always recommend to others, if there is anything you want to know, just ask. I think that if you start to care too much for people, they start hating you because of it. And also that you start spending too much time over how everyone thinks about you that you lose track of yourself. Everyone wants acceptance but it never comes and probably never will.

I love this time of year because of all the presents I usually get at Christmas. What I don't like is that we're usually broke this time of year. It's nice to have a brother as a landlord. He's more lenient if your rent is late for the month. Seeing most of our rent money went into new tires for the car. Having almost bald tires for winter time is a very bad thing. Been spending some time this weekend playing Mariokart - double dash, and Marioparty 5. I borrowed them from my sister. They aren't that bad. Other than that, I did nothing this weekend. Oh yeah, went and saw the Rotory Lights with the live nativity scene. Wasn't bad. Not much else to say right now. Later.

Seems a bit dreary outside. Well, last night we went and got new tires put onto the car. It was just a sliding before in the snow. :-( Hopefully it won't slide now. I bit after that I started feeling angry & upset. I just could not figure out why. I still don't know why. Beth was all worried that it was her. I'm not really sure if that is true or not. Maybe it's male pms or something. She had to get up early so she went to bed. I stayed up and played video games by myself. Seemed boring but I didn't know what else to do. Slept all morning. Woke up, sat down & watched TV all afternoon. I'm just now getting some lunch made. TV dinner, quick & easy. I'm just feeling so out of it today. Which probably explains the dreary weather. I currently feel that my life is just crap. Crappy house, as Beth would say, very messy house, no one to visit, no one that wants to visit, & possibly a dead-end job. Life sucks and then you die, or so the saying goes. I'm hoping my life starts picking up and that I start to feel better again.

First snow fall of the year to stay for a little while. Started about 10pm last night. Had about an inch of snow but now it's melting. Classes are done for the week and the work day seems to be flying past. It helps that I can use my free time at work to program and keep my mind busy. Trying to create a program that can track a game of acquire. It'll help do all the little stuff, so I won't have to. :-) Beth has to work all weekend long. Get to spend some nice quite time at home. I hope I can force myself to do some cleaning around the house or to finish my homework. Only 2 more weeks of school to go. Yeah!!! Well, I have to get back to work. Later.

Done with work and getting ready to head out to school. At work I continued to think. I never seem to have anything better to do at work. I was thinking about how it seems a bit like this: one person is saying apple, another saying banana, a third saying orange while they are actually talking about pineapples. I think that Beth & I should just enter into a hibernation like state until such time that someone wakes us up. We seem to get into people's way. We seem to hurt people's feelings. Also, people seem to be scared of Beth and run. I think that's why the guys stopped wanting to see us. The last time they where around, Beth was pissed, and I believe they ran because they are scared of her. They won't admit it. They claim it's because of some personality mismatch or something like that. Beth doesn't get mad all the time, and when she is upset, she usually has a good reason for it.

The other thing that I am pondering is what people are looking for. As we all proceed in this endeavor to "find ourselves," we need to think of what we want. Myself, I'm looking for friends that I can spend time with. One that will play video games, board games, go to a movie, or go bowling, etc. I liked the past when I could go spend time playing games on the weekends. I don't have anyone around to do that with anymore. I would love for me to have friends that would call up & say "How about coming over for a game of settlers tonight?". I'm trying to make a few new friends, but it seems slow and difficult. I need to figure out ways to find some new friends. New places to find some. Night school hasn't been that successful for me. I just need to have faith and hope they will come. Well, I'm off to school. Later.

Lunch Time! I can't wait for school to be done on the 18th. I will then be able to sit back and try to relax for a little while until the spring semester. Everyone's lives seem to be in disarray as the Christmas time approaches. I was told some answers to my questions in my last entry. Today while thinking, I have been enlightened by those answers as to that I understand myself a bit more as to how I was feeling and that I didn't realize my overall reasons. With how life has taken the puzzle, which we call our lives, and has shaken up those pieces and now we all are trying to put the puzzle back together. The underlying problem that I wrote above is wanting to know how others view us. Whether people like us or don't like us. Whether they want to spent time with us or not to spent time with us. One doesn't often get told that you are somewhat important part of their lives. I think that every once in a while, people need to hear it from those around them and to also tell those around them. I want to say that I am sorry for my above entry. I was too angry when I decided to write it but it was something I felt that I needed to say at the time. Only now do I understand it & myself better. Better late than never. I can only hope that it's not too little, too late. People are always looking to be accepted by others and when it doesn't happen much, good old depression steps in. Well, I would like to write more but I have to get back to work. Later.