Saturday, July 22, 2006
Well, been a little while since I last wrote. SO many things I want to write about but I think it best to not talk about them here. I'm feeling run down and tired again. I just don't have any ability to recharge. I get drained physically by working so much. Working full time for my dad, doing deliveries on the weekend, and taking written comm at wtc (formerly wwtc). Being around the house has been basicly an emotional drain. I feel that all I do is give out energy and I have no source to get it back. No one that I can feed off of. I get drained, I get grouchy, and everyone then thinks that I'm mad at them. In a sense, I am. I've been in a situation since the begining of July and possibly earlier and it's been nothing but a drain on me. People have become selfish about things and I really don't have any ability to give, which makes it harder for me to win this battle. The other side has plenty of energy to use. I'm the only one that works 7 days a week, with no breaks. I work 40+ hours; not including school time and homework. I just want it to end, I want everything to end!!! I keep thinking of simply running away from everything and trying to start over. Start a new life from scratch. Would that be as difficult as being where I am now? I'm going to go at try to figure out a way to recharge, or at least, get away from everything for a bit.
Gregabyte dreamed of Linux @ 10:29 PM
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Friday, June 30, 2006
Well, I have about 10 minutes before I am to be delivering pizzas. I have a headache and feel both physically & metally drained. My great-uncle passed away on June 16th and had the funeral on the 19th. Later that week, the 22, my father had a mild heart attack around midnight. He was rushed by ambulence to the hospital where he stayed the night and the next day put 3 stints in. One arterie was at 90% blocked and received 2 stints and another was at 30% and put one in for preventative maintance. Thru most of the weekend he had a hard time keeping food down, was having nose bleeds, and or side effects from the drugs. Probably due to him taking a pill that is basicly 'chemo in a pill'. He was to go that next day for tests to see if the cancer is still growing. I didn't hear but I think that got postponed. Have to run. Only a few minutes till work. :-(
Gregabyte dreamed of Linux @ 4:06 PM
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Wednesday, May 10, 2006
I had decided to go lay down in the basement and fell asleep. Beth woke me up and was angry about me being down in the basement. We had a nice long talk about this situation that I have created for myself. I've been a bit self-centered and that I'm not taking everything into consideration. WHat else is new, right? I would like to talk more about it but I think it will have to wait till tomorrow. It is a bit late now and I need to get up for work in about 3-4 hours.
Gregabyte dreamed of Linux @ 1:35 AM
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Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Well, wife made dinner. It was a chicken & pasta dish. It tasted very good and tasted like more. I'm still a little hungry but I'll raid the fridge after a while. I've been sitting here thinking about what I am feeling with all that is playing out around me. I'm feeling jealous and unloved. Wife has been spending all her time with the rommie. Today, wife said they left about 2. They stopped at Perkins around 3:30-4:00ish. They had stopped at the grocery store, Sams club, and I think they stopped at blockbuster. Stopped for gas on the way home. They made it back at 7.
I want to go do something, anything at all, but I don't have anyone to go do anything with. APAC man hasn't been to visit in over a month or 2 and I can't see him because he's working the late shift of like 2pm to 11pm; or something like that. Sitting at my computer, bored out of my mind, and no where to go. I feel trapped. The rommie plays games in the living room, wife watches; or they watch a movie. I have only been asked to do one thing with them, that was to go get chinese with them last Wed. If they start a movie, they could ask if I've like to watch but nope, doesn't happin. After thinking about it, if it did happen, would I want to join them? I just want to escape this madness.
Gregabyte dreamed of Linux @ 7:32 PM
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Well, I came home from work to find an empty house. I was all by my self until 7. I was trying to debate if I wanted to be here when they got home or to be off in never-never land. I didn't manage to escape. When they did get home, wife called 'Hi' as they entered and I yelled 'hi' back. Next thing I here is a whisper about she thinks I'm mad. It's about the only thing she seems to care about is if I'm in a mellow mood or if I'm in a mad mood. And she always assumes that I'm mad when a lot of the times I'm not, well not till recent that is. Then the next thing I'm told about is that Charter came to fix the On Demand for the rommie. Beth says that I had it hooked up wrong. Once again, my fault. Being hooked up backwards couldn't have been the whole reason because the splitter was replaced with a new one. Then she asks if I've eaten dinner yer. A little bit of a growl to her voice. I told her no and she headed off into the other room. I'm really starting to hate being around here!
Gregabyte dreamed of Linux @ 5:06 PM
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Sunday, May 07, 2006
I woke up around 1:30pm today. Started to get my computer hooked up again and to try to start working on it. Beth said that I really need to work on Donna's computer first. So I quick assessed her computer of having a bad power supply (which reminds me, I need to get that ordered). Then I start on my computer. Reformatted the HD, installed the OS and patches. I am still having the random mouse/keyboard lockups. I might have to get myself a new motherboard!!! :-( At around 2:30 I went out and finished mowing the backyard. Came in & continued the work on my computer. I got a lot of napping in today also. I would start the massive patchs downloading, go take a nap, come back to get the next batch going, etc. I had a bowl of spagetti-Os at around 5pm because I had yet to eat anything and I was feeling starved. Beth quized me about that she was going to make us dinner. I said Yes. I knew she was, but I was hungry and didn't want to wait. When she would make it, I would probably be ready to eat some more. Well, sometime around 6-7ish I had finished with all the OS patches. But the lockups where still there. Feeling frustrated I layed down and took another nap till about 9. Beth had yet to start with dinner. I'm hungry so I head to the kitchen and decided to have some toast; small enough to stop some of my hunger but still leave room if she ever decides to start dinner. She was giving me a quizical look when I was waiting for the toast but I didn't say anything. Well, now it's almost 11 and no dinner. Am I to blame for it? Probably. Last Thursday, the toilet backed up on Beth and she started to say about that i had replaced the seal underneth the toilet and it sounded like she was blaming it on that. And so.... it definitly became my crappy weekend from hell!!!
I'm going to be having to use the laptop because of my main computer. I'm not feeling tired because of my napping. I have been bored out of my mind today. I felt that I wanted to go outside to do something to enjoy it but nothing sounded fun and I didn't really know of anyone who wanted to go out and do something. The roomie played video games all afternoon and evening on the PS2 and my wife watched the whole time. Thats still going on in the living room. While I kept myself confined to the computer room and the bedroom. Well, I suppose I might as well try to get some sleep. Sleep is so nice, because it is the only time that I don't have to think! G'Night all.
Gregabyte dreamed of Linux @ 8:43 PM
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Well, this turned out to feel like a weekend from hell! I had to deliver pizza on Friday night. Afterwards, I packed up the computer and headed out to the LAN Party. I was lucky I took Tards # with me because the front door was locked. It was about 11:30pm. Called him up & he came down to let me in. I next had to lug my stuff up to the 3rd floor of this warehouse via stairs. I had my computer case, monitor, duffle bag of cds/cables/keyboard/mouse/etc, sleeping bag & pillow. I got to set up next to my co-worker from Pizza Hut. All set up and I turn on the computer to find out that it decided to lo longer work! Windows would try to fire up & just freeze. Safe mode would simply reboot the computer. So, I tried to reinstall windows, no luck. Took another hd and installed windows. Next problem that I can't get rid of is that it randomly locks up the mouse & keyboard, everything else works just fine. I switched the mouse out, no change, swapped keyboards, no change!!! So now I have a computer that I can use for a random time period before it locks out the mouse & keyboard and I have to restart the computer. I really sucks!!!
Well, my co-worker didn't stay long on Friday night and said I could use his computer. He left around 1am, I think. Another co-worker came over to visit and I let him play for a while; while I putzed around with my computer. He left, I played for a tiny bit and headed to bed around 4am. I woke up around 7 and laid there till about 8-8:30am. Got up and poked and prodded my computer some more. Around 9:30, I left and hit the McDonalds for breakfast and hit Shopko for more minutes on my TracFone. Got back around 10:30-11ish. Started playing BF2 on the friends computer and played until around 8:50pm. They did provide brats around 2pm. At 8:50, The coworker that visited last night had gotten sick at work and needed to find someone to work the rest of his close shift. I said that I would. I headed out, changed, went to work. I got done with work at around 12:45am. I headed home, changed, and headed back around 1:15. I arrived and saw that about half the people had gone to bed, a small group was watching a movie on the big screen. So, I sat & watched the rest of the movie. I decided that there really wasn't many playing anyhing, most of them where watching movies on thier computers, so I packed up & headed home. I got home around 2. Started to unpack and realize that the house was empty. As I was finishing unloading the car, they showed up from an "ice cream run." The other bad thing was that they where going to draw for prizes at around 7 according to the schedule of events. I was told that they did that after I had left & that I needed to be there to claim the prize if my tickets where drawn. Everyone was given one ticket with admission, and I bought 3 more tickets for $10. That sucked!!! Well, I got unloaded and after staring at the computer stuff for a bit, I decided to simply head to bed because I wasn't in a good mood and did not want to start working on my computer.
Gregabyte dreamed of Linux @ 8:13 PM
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Friday, May 05, 2006
There is sonething that I would like to mention now that I was wanting to mention in my last post but forgot to mention. I have to keep myself trying to remeber that he is her friend and not mine. It was her friend to stay with us. Not for me. I feel that is something that is important to consider and mention. I would get in trouble if I where to forget it. Which would make some of what I am complaining about; more of something I really shouldn't be complaining about.
Well, I'm heading out to that BF2 lan party. If anyone who reads this page wants to contact me, call the cell and I might answer. I would put the percetage of that actually happening to be about 0.001% chance. If you don't know the cell #, call the house and get the cell numebr. :-p
I'm sure I'll let my 0 readers know how it went.
Gregabyte dreamed of Linux @ 8:02 PM
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Thursday, May 04, 2006
Well, I'm feeling in the mood to complain. It's being similar to Monday. Can't sleep well. I had mentioned that we've had a new roomate. Well, I've been feeling like the third wheel around here now. I feel like I don't belong here. And I feel that I am being treated differtly by both of them then they treat each other. That is somewhat understandable. What is keeping me up is that they are being loud in the other room. Whenever the new guy is sleeping and I manage to get to volume level of normal, I'm reminded to keep my voice down so he can sleep. Do they ever consider keeping their voice down while I'm trying to sleep? Nope. They where busy being loud with laughing & talking on Monday while watching American Dad. I think he's playing some video game right now. They where talking about maybe watching some movie in english or french so they could be watching a movie instead. Another thing that feels off is that they are sitting down to watch a movie, I don't get asked to watch with them. If I actually start to watch a movie with them, I get to start where ever they are in the movie. If Beth walks in, the movie is restarted.
Yesterday was my night of WoW gaming. I came home from school, was asked about going out for dinner. The plan was to go to a chinese buffet. It's around 4. I said sure. They where waiting for his clothing to dry in the dryer so I went out to mow the lawn. I finished about 4:30-4:45. I was told that he's cloths where still drying and it would be just a little more. They where ready to go at 6:50!!! My WoW gaming is at 7, so I told Beth that how about the 2 of them go and bring me back some food. She did not like being told that. I gave in and when to the buffet. We got back around 8. I then got onto WoW, only to find out that 2 of our players where gone. But the 2 that did showed up when out playing and didn't want to go out with me. I'm really thinking of quitting WoW. I signed up so that I could play a game with Chris, but he's hardly been giving me the time of day. No one in our guild wants to help out and because of that WoW has not been much fun or interest to me.
Well, I don't see much of anyone any more. I think the last time we saw Programming Man was around Chrismas time. The last I've seen of Calc Man was shortly after the funeral for his father. Before that was a few years, I think. Haven't seen APAC Man in almost a month now. I just sometimes start to feel like I want out of my life. To make it all go away, but I know it's not that simple.
Gregabyte dreamed of Linux @ 11:08 PM
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